the spiral of life

my eyes feel heavy and i‘m tired but i can't sleep. my life seems once again meaningless and i'm stuck in the viscious cycle i can't get out. i'm sliding down the spiral of life, in the end nothing is underneath me and i fall. but where do i fall when there is nothing left? where do i go when i want to be nowhere? i find myself between the comfort of my bedsheets and the urge to just leave everything behind and disappear. run away, leave everything behind, seems like a dream so far away, but still so near. just pack a few bags and go, what keeps me here? searching for my inner peace i’ve lost over the years, because out here there is no time on my clock. i’m in a race against an hour-glass on the run, both waiting for it to end. i struck a match that lit a flame, put on a song with lyric that stripped me bare to reveal hidden treasures that are out of sight; locked and sealed only come out at night.

cause at night i won't feel the shame; at night my life feels not like a game. in the daytime i turn into an addict fighting for something good and pleading for change.